My childhood cat Einstein in his old age.

Strong beams of sunlight would shine on the fur of my cat Einstein during the brutal summer days when my family lived in Texas. He loved the heat in his old age. We dubbed that period of his life “the retirement years.” You could often find him napping under the leaves of the elephant ear plants that bordered our inground pool. He also enjoyed being sprawled out on the concrete patio, completely relaxed — truly not a care in the world. You could see his age — he definitely thinned out over the years. You could feel his hip bones when petting him. But despite being 16 years old, he was living a life much more relaxing than his origins.

I was a toddler when he first made an appearance. Back then, the woods, the46-acre wildlife preserve that surrounded my neighborhood in Stony Brook, New York, was Einstein’s home. The day after we spotted him walking out of the woods and onto our lawn, we made sure to set out some food for him. He was scraggly and around two years old. He mainly had white fur with black tabby spots. The white of his fur was impressively pristine for a cat raised in the wild. Over time, he visited us more frequently. We would leave the door open for him if he wanted to come inside. And one day, he did. My heart fluttered with excitement, and I begged my mom to let us keep him. To my surprise, she approved, but under one condition: “Only if he stays.” My eyes and spirit lit up immediately. I was overjoyed but so nervous that he wouldn’t want to stay. He did stay, actually for the remainder of his life — including our move from New York to Texas.

Einstein was my first cat. He was never fully domesticated and always stayed in touch with his wilder side. He would sometimes leave our house for days but eventually return for a warm bed and some food. No matter how much he acted aloof, I always felt protected by him. I giggled to myself on bus rides to elementary school when I would look out the window to find him sitting on our neighbor’s lawn. When we got a dog, Einstein would go on walks with us, even though he would act like he wasn’t with our group. He would stalk us as we walked, waiting until we were far enough away, and then firing ahead of us at full speed.

I miss Einstein, and I’m reminded of him when the outdoor cat on our block walks down our street — which is ironically in the same neighborhood Einstein was from. The cat looks suspiciously similar to him, which is why we also call him Einstein. I think of Einstein’s story whenever I see a stray cat — and I see them frequently. Look behind strip malls, in alleyways, down a street or even in the trees of a neighbor’s backyard — unowned cats are everywhere. Long Island is riddled with them.

A brown tabby cat with big cheeks sat in front of the fence, watching and waiting for food. He must’ve recognized the car of Lisa Grisanzio — a Smithtown resident who is one of their feeders and has been taking care of cat colonies for years. Once she opened her car door, the cat bolted away in a flash. Somehow, the rain still hadn’t stopped — it had been days of historic rainfall in New York. The weather was no match for Grisanzio, she feeds the cats multiple times a week, at multiple colonies — rain or shine. On weekdays, she arrives at the colonies at 6:45 a.m. before heading to work.

She led into the wooded area that bordered a strip mall, impressively balancing all of her supplies — plastic bags with containers of dry food and prepped paper plates with wet food, a reused Arizona iced tea jug filled with water and a roll of paper towels. She prepares the food and supplies herself and pays for it out of her own pocket.

She approached the first station, a low-to-the-ground structure covered in a green tarp and shrouded by tree branches, dirt and shrubs. She reached underneath to reveal food and water bowls and paper plates left over from yesterday’s feeding. She methodically cleaned the bowls that were covered in damp mud due to the rain and replaced the food and water. She’s being watched from afar by a familiar face through the brush — the squinty faced tabby that watched Grisanzio pull up.

This colony, Grisanzio explained, has reduced a bit over the years. At first it was about 12 to 15 cats. “Now we’re down to four regulars and two stragglers,” she said — a result of the TNR efforts from people like her and Jenny Luca. Suddenly, a black cat walked over to the tabby and nuzzled into his side. Grisanzio giggled at the sight. “These two are besties,” she said.

A car ride around the corner brought Grisanzio to the second colony of the day, which was bigger than the first. This colony was once around 40 cats years ago, and it is now down to around 15 or 20. Expectant cats can be spotted similarly to the Hidden Pictures puzzles in the Highlights magazine for children. One moment, it’s just the tire of a parked car — the next, the silhouette of a black cat becomes visible. Upon a closer look, the cat is not entirely black. Across her cheeks is a patch of white fur, dubbing her “Mustache.”

A different brown tabby — this one with a bit of a snaggletooth — waited in the grass and licked his lips. Grisanzio calls him Tigger, but his name isn’t consistent with all of the feeders. Tigger responds to more than one name. He followed her over to the feeding station, and more cats seemed to appear out of thin air. I had been trying to keep my mouth shut for most of the excursion, but I couldn’t help but let an excited squeal slip out. They swarmed Grisanzio, remaining slightly wary of my strange presence. Some of the cats included a gray one who hopped out of a cat house and reached its paws forward to stretch into downward dog. Another was an orange cat who strolled over from the neighboring wood. The group stood near, but generally kept their distance — except for Tigger, who jumped on top of the car beside the station to get some pets from Grisanzio.

Grisanzio used to pay for spay and neuter, but has been able to save some money once she found out about TNR Taskforce’s contract with the town. However, now that TNR Taskforce’s efforts have been put on pause due to the contract running out, Grisanzio doesn’t have plans of doing TNR for the remainder of the year — though she continues to feed and maintain the colonies no matter what.

Lisa Grisanzio pays for the food out of pocket for the cats at the Centereach cat colony. September 30, 2023.

Cat houses similar to the ones at the Centereach colony can be spotted around Stony Brook University’s campus, nestled between the trees of the woods that enclose the property. Since those same woods led to our house, my family always theorized that the onslaught of cats that would show up on our doorstep were often cats abandoned by university students. It’s possible that Einstein was one of these cats, especially since he showed up wearing a collar. Over the years, the university’s cat population has dwindled from about 500 down to around 100, due to a TNR program run by Stony Brook Cat Network. Stony Brook Cat Network is primarily run by students and uses donations to do TNR. Like Luca and TNR Taskforce, Stony Brook Cat Network can’t do TNR without these funds.

Christina Artusa, of Holbrook, used to be the vice president of Stony Brook Cat Network while she was a biology student. Now, she is pursuing a master’s of arts in teaching biology at Stony Brook and serves as one of the Cat Network’s graduate advisors. Though the Cat Network wasn’t her first venture into TNR — it was a feral cat that paid her family’s house visits from time to time.

“My mom and my family didn’t want me feeding her,” Artusa said. “So I secretly decided to feed her on my own because she was adorable.” Artusa would sneak the cat some turkey whenever she could. After some time, Artusa noticed her family was growing quite attached to their visitor. Thanksgiving that year showed a change in her mom. “My mom decided to leave out turkey for her,” she said. “Everybody deserves to eat on Thanksgiving.” After this cat had a litter of kittens in the yard next door, Artusa brought her for TNR, which led Artusa to join Stony Brook Cat Network. Artusa’s family still takes care of the cat to this day.

Similarly to Einstein, Artusa calls her cat “half-feral.” “She still kind of does her own thing, but she loves being pet by us,” she said. “In the winter time, she will actually come inside and sleep over in our house overnight, and then she’ll want to be let out in the morning and do her own thing during the day.”

The furry and cuddly exterior of cats is misleading — they have evolved into excellent predators. Their spines can lengthen for speed bursts, and their malleable bodies make slinking through small spaces a breeze. Legend says they have nine lives — a testament to their perseverance and agility. According to an article published by scientific journal Nature Communications, cats kill between “1.3–4.0 billion birds and 6.3–22.3 billion mammals annually.” The study also cites free-ranging cats as the greatest cause of U.S. bird and mammal death influenced by humans. The majority of these kills are caused by unowned cats, like the ones who live in colonies across Long Island — the ones people like Luca, Artusa and Grisanzio have been trying to help. Though TNR programs and feeding stray cats feels like an act of kindness, these feral cats still can cause harm to the environment.

The American Bird Conservancy’s (ABC) webpage about keeping cats indoors opens up with a photo of a bright yellow bird strangled under a fluffy white cat paw. Organizations like ABC take a strong stand against TNR through their invasive species programs. The domestic cat, known by the scientific name felis silvestris catus, is looked at by ABC as an invasive species.

“[Cats have] been spread to new environments by people, and those introductions to those environments have caused tremendous harm for native wildlife,” Grant Sizemore, the director of invasive species programs at ABC, said.

“I think TNR on its surface makes sense to people,” Sizemore said. “If you sterilize a cat, obviously, it’s not going to reproduce. And of course, no one is saying that’s not true. It is absolutely true. But we have to think about it from the population standpoint, not just from the individual cat.”

Sizemore and ABC state that TNR programs are ineffective due to not being in an enclosed area. “Many of the studies have shown that the number of cats that are sterilized is simply inconsequential,” Sizemore said.

The main issue they take with TNR is specifically in regards to the “R” in TNR — “return.” Returning these cats outdoors exposes them to a variety of threats, like getting hit by cars or attacks by wildlife.

When my family would set out food outside for the cats who would visit, sometimes we would hear the sound of the bowl moving in the middle of the night and peek through the windows to find the gloved bandits that were raccoons, taking handfuls of cat food as stealthily as they could. But like most, we never invited these raccoons into our hearts and into our homes the same way we would with the cats. But, as Sizemore put it, “cats are actually the number one source of rabies among domestic animals in the United States.” He added that people are much more likely to be exposed to rabies through outdoor cats than with raccoons, simply because it is easy to melt at the sight of a cat’s adorably big eyes and small nose and want to pet them. Though I have also been known to find raccoons adorable as well, just not enough to cuddle one.

“It’s not uncommon to see cats feeding at these cat colonies side by side with raccoons, which are the primary rabies vector species in New York,” Sizemore said.

In addition to exposing the population to rabies, cats are uniquely situated as a breeding grounds for a dangerous parasite known as Toxoplasma gondii. The parasite’s reproductive cycle can only happen in cats. But from the cat, the parasite can be transmitted to other mammals and birds, causing an irreversible infection known as toxoplasmosis.
“Harms caused by toxoplasmosis include fetal deformities, blindness, deafness, organ failure, and especially in those with compromised immune systems, it can cause death,” Sizemore said.

“It’s a fairly serious disease that kind of flies under the radar,” he added.

So, as an alternative to TNR, Sizemore suggested a solution in two parts. “The first is we need to turn off the tap and stop owned cats that are roaming the landscape, contributing to this cat crisis that we’re experiencing,” he said. He explained that this can be done through a means of “responsible cat ownership,” which would be keeping them within the owner’s watch, vaccinated, sterilized and with identification.

“Not just opening the door,” he added, “kicking it out and saying, ‘Oh I hope it returns in a week or two.’”

The second part of the solution would change the meaning of the “R” in TNR, from “release” to “remove.”

“We need to remove them from the landscape, either by putting them into enclosures, adopting them out, placing them in long term sanctuaries, or euthanasia,” he said. “But under no circumstances should they be abandoned back onto the landscape.”

He also added that feeding these cats doesn’t cause a reduction in the death of small wildlife like birds and mice. Cats naturally have an innate prey drive, which is why most indoor cats go nuts over a string or a feather toy — or like my cat, a strange obsession with zip ties. “That’s the predatory response that cats have completely separate from their need to eat,” Sizemore said.

“A lot of research has shown that cats will hunt and kill wildlife, even if they are fed.”

If anything, feeding outdoor cats could be bolstering them to be even stronger predators. “It makes those cats that exist healthier, and perhaps even better at hunting and killing wildlife in the local area,” he said.

Cats are a constant threat to many species, even contributing to the extinction of 63 species, Sizemore emphasized. “And one of those that is potentially at risk and found on Long Island is piping plover,” he added. “The American Bird Conservancy actually sued the New York State Office of Parks, Recreation and Historic Preservation in 2016 for violation of the U.S. Endangered Species Act, because of their facilitation of cat colonies at Jones Beach State Park. Ultimately, that case was settled, and the cat colonies were removed by New York State Parks. I believe the cats were all taken to sanctuaries to live out the rest of their lives.”

“While I think that those [against TNR] have great points, and they want to protect their birds,” Stony Brook Cat Network’s Christina Artusa said. “You can’t help feral cats from being in the wild, because a lot of times they end up as dumps.” She also mentioned that cats could accidentally get out and never find their way back home. “You could just manage the problem.”

Leigh Wixson, the director of the Smithtown Animal Shelter and Adoption Center, said she’s had people approach her to demand the shelter to use their own space to create a sanctuary instead of doing TNR, adding that relocation can cause unnecessary stress for the cats. “It is unrealistic for them to think that some place, some magical mythical place, is going to take all of these massive numbers of cats,” she said.

Was my cat Einstein a part of the problem? He lived both indoors and outdoors. It never seemed like an option to not let him be outside. He was the type to throw a fit if we didn’t let him out, so much so that it never occurred to me to not allow it. He just seemed so happy to be outside.

“Yeah, that’s what they are meant to do,” Wixson said. “They’re meant to be hunters. They’re meant to be out there, but between injury, people who hate cats and other stray cats giving them diseases, it is just a safer life to have your cat indoors.”

“It’s much safer to be an indoor cat,” said Jennifer Van de Kieft, a cat behaviorist from Brooklyn, sitting in front of a cat tree stationed directly in front of a brightly lit window. “But there’s some negatives with it too.”

Van de Kieft currently has five rescue cats that live with her in her apartment. She admits that five cats is a lot. “I can barely keep on top of it, and I’m a professional,” she said.

She explained that her first cat, Clarence, was part Siamese and an indoor-outdoor cat. “He was really smart, and we basically couldn’t keep him in,” she said. “He could open the doors.”

“But there were lots of challenges with it. Neighborhood kids would shoot him with a BB gun,” she added. Clarence would get into trouble with the neighbors, and Van de Kieft recalled a story somewhere along the lines of him getting stuck in the ceiling of their neighbor’s house. After Clarence, her family stuck to indoor cats only. And when Van de Kieft started working with clients as a cat behaviorist, she was strict on advising against allowing cats outdoors. Over time, she has noticed that maybe there were negatives to indoor-only in certain situations and that allowing a cat for some outdoor enrichment could be helpful. It is dependent on the situation and comfort of both the cat and their owner.

“There are cats on every single block on Long Island,” Jenny Luca said. “And us, as rescuers, it will never be enough.”

It is unclear if there is a definitive answer to what should be done about the feral cat problem on Long Island. Looking at all the evidence against TNR, the argument makes sense — cats are excellent hunters, transmitters of disease and subject to dangers when living outside. But is the effort made by TNR programs better than no effort at all? Those like Luca, Artusa and Grisanzio have seen definite reductions in the overall number of feral cats in each colony. And the reality of it is, it might not be possible to find these feral cats other spaces or homes to live in.

The two sides might have more in common than they think. Through looking out your back window, you might see the problem for yourself, by looking at the birds, or your neighbor’s cat who snuck in by hopping the fence. “People need to get proactive in their own backyards,” Luca said. Both Luca and Sizemore just want what they think is best for the animals.

“This is really an opportunity for all of us, especially cat owners, to make a difference in terms of bird conservation and wildlife conservation. You can have a tremendous impact, just by taking a few simple steps to keep your cat and wildlife safe,” Sizemore said.

“I think every one of us can agree that there is a tremendous amount of suffering going on, and there is nothing more important than population control,” Luca said.

Wixson stressed Long Island’s unique situation. “You see it even with the deer encroaching on our space,” she said. “We’re running out of room.”

For now, these efforts of population reduction will continue, whether that be typical TNR, relocation or an educational push to advise people to keep their cats inside. But if nothing is done, the problem will definitely only get worse. The choice is left up to the perception of cats, or more so, how humans will choose to be held accountable for an animal they have brought onto the land. The entire matter has left my head spinning. It is unclear if TNR should truly be considered abandonment — cats are often pets, but it also seems like they have the skills to live outside on their own.

It has been very clear to me that the feral cat problem on Long Island is abundant. Einstein wasn’t the only cat who showed up to our door, he was just the only one who stuck around. Josephine, OJ and many others were recurring characters at our doorstep throughout my childhood. My other childhood cat, Bella, was found in a garbage can near Riverhead. My current cat, Dottie, is a rescue from the Islip Animal Shelter. She is my first fully indoor cat, who even has a sort of catio of her own — a three-season room that she lounges in for hours, patiently observing the squirrels and birds who run free in our backyard.